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Lili the Succubus: Part I (eBook)
| Lili the Succubus: Part I | |
|---|---|
 Lili the Succubus: Part I eBook Cover, written by Alfred Nagamoto | |
| Author(s) | Alfred Nagamoto |
| Series | Lili the Succubus |
| Publisher | Amazon Digital Services |
| Publication date | February 1, 2023 |
| Media type | eBook |
| Length | 12 Pages |
| ASIN | B0BTN4FS9W |
| Followed by | Lili the Succubus: Part II - The New Victim |
For other uses of the word Succubus, see Succubus (disambiguation).
Lili the Succubus: Part I is an eBook written by Alfred Nagamoto. It is the first work in the Lili the Succubus series by this author. In this work the character Lili is a Succubus.
Overview
- Title: Lili the Succubus: Part I
- Author: Alfred Nagamoto
- Published By: Amazon Digital Services
- Length: 12 Pages
- Format: eBook
- ASIN: B0BTN4FS9W
- Publishing Date: February 1, 2023
Other Works in this Series on SuccuWiki
- Lili the Succubus: Part II - The New Victim
- Lili the Succubus: Part III - The Hunter
- Lili the Succubus: Part IV - The Demon Lord
Plot Summary
A power-hungry succubus Lili has been waiting in the shadows for years. She patiently waits for an opportunity to start her hunt. The demon's mouth waters as she hunts for potent virgin semen and heads to the city.
Book Review
The following review was originally published by Tera on her Blog, A Succubi's Tale on March 31, 2023
Lili is but a young succubus just beginning her existence and all that comes with being a succubus. But all things start somewhere and it’s time for her to become more than she is. Possessing a suitable human is a start and seducing a suitable male will make things so much better still.
The work is mainly focused on Lili, the main character possessing a woman and then seeking out someone that interests her to feed from. As such it’s something a bit less of a succubus story than it is about possession at first. Then that aspect of the story fades away as Lili takes control and has her way with the young man she encounters. Overall she doesn’t really act like a succubus or display her powers too overtly either.
The story is told from her perspective and at times it works to make things interesting. Telling about what is driving her onwards gives a lot of information about her and the succubi in this story universe. At the same time things are a bit silly when she possesses another character and mulls over how perky her host is and describes exploring her new body. It’s a diversion from the story for the sake of some low heat erotica which feels lost.
The erotica has some heat, but it feels muted overall. Much of that comes from the oddities of the writing, the somewhat flat tone of the characters and a lack of focus to drive the story onwards. This is all a shame because there are hints about Lili and her world that are just touched on but aren’t explored. Thinking about how the story is structured, it has a very anime feeling to it and that almost works save for the writing which stumbles about in its tone and wording.
The work really needs a good editing to fix a lot of tense, word and other issues. Overall, Lili’s story is interesting, but how things are written leaves a lot to be desired. Given some care to make the dialogue sound more real and clean up the narrative to be smoother, the story could be so much more than it is.
Two and a half pitchforks out of five.
Hopefully the next work in the series will tell more about Lili, about how things work in this story universe. I’d really like more than just the erotica and there’s a story to be told that really should be.